It's suppose to rain today. How gloomy. Today is the Speech and Drama Picnic. Howie and I are going to get slimmed with whatever. Tradition. I hate it.
I'm cutting my hair at three o'clock today. I am cutting it all off. It's getting too heavy. I feel like I need a new thing before I leave the world of childhoos and emrace the world of adulthood.
I might even dye it. Yeah yeah I know that I am this close to it being my actual color and if I cut it it will be even more close. But if it looks nasty then I am not going to leave like that. Grrr.
Sometimes I wish I could just stand outside in the rain and let it wash away all of my fears. I want it to take them away. Wash away all the guilt, suffering, happiness, all the feelings that I feel and let me just be a pod that walks, talks, and acts like a real human.
My room is starting to seem like not my own. I am moving out yet I cannot stand to leave it. This is my life, this is my world, I created it. I created the infamous door when I moved here. I am leaving my comfort zone and moving out. Why? I have this privacy by myself that I don't have living at home.
Time slips away from us. Don't let it go too fast. I have. And I am regretting every minute of it.
