Well. Last night I left a message on my dad's phone wishign him a happy birthday. Half an hour later...he called me back.
The first thing he said except for the usual intro's was this, How far is Tulsa from where you live?
On May 19, two wednesdays from here, I am going to pick my dad up in Tulsa. I am actually going to pick my dad up in Tulsa. You have absolutely no clue how excited I am about this all. After almost three years I get to see my dad. I was practically in tears last night because I am sooo happy.
Topher- Chris, I want to apologize formally for what I said about Noelle yesterday. And I know that I have absolutely no clue what goes on with her. But the thing is that I don't like people I know to get hurt like you have. And I never ever once decided to mess around with you while I am in Minot this summer. I am with Sean. I think that we are finally happy. I don't know how you percieved me with guys, but from your note I see that it wasn't a good perception. I don't know why but I am just glad that you are speaking your feelings. And that's a good thing. Christopher Heilman, I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that about Noelle. Accept that please?
Speakig of Sean, yesterday was our day off together. Did I see him at all? Nope. Not one bit. I don't know what is happening. Help.
Sometimes I just want to be alone.
I just want to breathe in water and get it over with.
Does anyone else ever feel that way?
Life here sucks.
Life anywhere sucks because you cannot escape the drama that follows you.
People make me cry.
Not because they make me feel bad.
But because of my pity for them.
They run around trying to be the best that they can be.
But by runnign around, they create chaos and havoc all around them.
Privacy.
I have no privacy.
Yes you can say that I have no privacy because I put my life on the internet to be found.
But its not that.
I have no privacy at all in Pawhuska.
In this town, you do something, fifteen minutes later your parents know about it.
Luck.
I use to think of myself as being lucky.
I think that someone tipped my horseshoe over and its all falling out.
Graduation.
I have eleven days until I am officially a high school graduate.
How time flies by.
I am sorry if I have cause any feelings that I wasn't intentionally causing.
My mouth just gets in the way sometimes.
muah~
Becca*
"I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
'Cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive
Chorus:
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her
'Cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive
Repeat Chorus
'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it ..... well can you feel it"
